A bum like no other

The birthday bash yesterday was lovely. It was the old crowd of work with a few extras which was an interesting experience. I say interesting because present were the chap I really disliked at work and the infamous A who I spent a large part of 2006 wiffling on about.

This was my first encounter with the chap since I left the job, the job which I left on account of him being put in charge of me. I really don't like him, and I can say that with some authority as I do know him well, this isn't just a shock reaction. Of course I was scathingly polite to him, in the way that a chap must be in public.

I also ended up having quite a long chat with A. It was strange, she even commented on how awkward it was, which was remarkably self aware of her. We caught up a bit, but now her speech patterns and funny little gestures faintly annoyed me rather than enthralled me. It's weird how someone who you were attracted to in such a chemical way before is now just another girl. It was like prodding an old injury to see if it still hurts and discovering that it wasn't there anymore.

Instead I caught up with the other girls, who I had worked with for years. I do miss them so and our strange little chats over morning coffee. But I feel that the fact that we've stayed in touch means that we aren't just work-friends we are proper friends. We confide in each other about real things.

Also present was someone who joined the company after I left, who I ended up talking with for a while. She has an award winning bum. Some underwear company had a 'best bum in the world contest' in which she represented England with her rear. I've never met a person who has represented a whole country with a body part but it's a very noble cause.

We were talking about a chap who was trying to seduce her through the medium of text messages. She had shown almost no interest in him at a party, but he had got her number off a chum and asked her out. I can't remember what he asked her out too, but she replied something along the lines of 'that's not very romantic' to which he replied.

'I'm not trying to be romantic, I just want to f*ck you up the arse'

This text message did not have the response he expected as she was rightly furious about it and got the mutual friend to give him a jolly good telling off. The thing that concerns me, well makes me think is that for a chap to use a line like that it must have worked at least once, oh dear.

I didn't ask for Miss Bottom of England's number after that, but she did look me up on Facebook the moment she got home. I do hope she isn't just after bum sex.