Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Holiday with Hedgehogs

I'm off for the next few days, I'm going back to Devon for some rest and to build homes for orphan hedgehogs. It's going to be nice to take a break from prancing around London in fancy socks to make things out of wood.

A is going to come and visit me at the at the latter part. Which should be exciting. I wonder how that will go...

Monday, June 26, 2006

An almost perfect evening

Last night was excellent, A came over for supper and to meet the Ice Queen and S. A was umming and ahhing over if she would come around all day, saying that she wasn't really feeling up to meeting new people. Of course these plans became moot when a fire broke out near King's Cross so she did come back with me.

We got off at West Hampstead to pick up some supplies to cook with and a few other bits and bobs. So we strolled down West End Lane, arm in arm and I pointed out my favourite places to have coffee in the morning and she told me about her grandmother who used to live in the area.

On returning to the flat, which thank goodness my flatmate had cleaned a bit (I left it in rather a state on Sunday) we started on the cooking. While I prepared the dough A did some cleaning and drank champagne, then we switched while I did various other cooking things. Loud music blared out of the radio and we danced around the kitchen making supper.

After a great deal of pounding and giggling the rolls were made, in a variety of shapes including ones so everyone could spell out their name. The bread was put to one side and we set about the butternut squash with knives and joked about opening a resturant together. A and I make a good kitchen team, which I always feel is an important test. Mid-way through discussing if severed human heads on the wall of a resturant (A's idea) would be wise for business the Ice Queen and S appeared.

Everyone was a bit quiet for a bit on first meeting, but the Ice Queen was in fine form and she soon got everyone laughing away about the silliest things they had done at festivals. With the cooking mostly done, we just had to wait for various things to turn golden brown and so we drank wine and laughed some more.

After more giggling and some female bonding, my important female friends have now met and entirely approve of A, we ate the food which was delicious. The Butternut Squash soup entirely disappeared, the bowl was licked clean and S, who shouldn't really eat wheat based products broke the rules to eat the delicous fresh rolls.

There was more laughter until the time came for the girls to leave in a large group to get trains and the evening was over.

It was lovely.

House visits.

Sometimes things don’t go exactly to plan. I went over to A’s house on Sunday, I didn’t mean to but she sounded in a bad way over the phone. I’ve never encountered anyone who gets so upset about breaking up with people. Or at least I’ve never been around for this stage.

I visited her at her house armed with wine, classy crisps, and suitable DVDS – horror films with out any romance in. When I got there she was rather broken looking, it was as if she was a balloon that had had some of its air removed. I also noticed some rather suspicious looking marks on her arms, what is a chap supposed to do when he encounters self-harming?

We ate supper (the pizza I made her before warmed up) in front of Alien with a nice chardonnay and then went to sleep at around midnight. I was on a mattress on the floor; she was in her bed. Later on her cat joined me, he had taken a liking to me so he spent the night purring loudly in my ear.

It’s all very strange, being a grown up. Here I was on the floor of someone’s room on the other side of London from my flat. How had I got here? The path that leads to these situations is convoluted to say the least.

I’m still very enamoured with A, I just don’t know how to deal with this sort of thing. I do witty quips and fun nights out. Also, I have a very real fear I could be drifting like an iceberg into the friendship zone.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

The power of silence

Silence is a powerful thing. Sometimes just not saying anything can change a situation massively. A lack of reply to 'I love you' or simply not replying fast enough can shift a day from a good one to a bad.

A silence can be like an expert counter-thrust in the game of courtship. Even more so through the medium of text messages. Just by not replying very quickly the moth and the flame can change rolls in an instance.

Today has been a day of well timed silences. I'm in the midst of a conversation now where to get what I really want, I must simply say nothing.

In other less cryptic news I did some more baking today, I made some beautiful bread rolls to eat with soft cheese. I've taken a photo of the remaining ones as the rest have been snaffled by hungry flatmates and other visitors.

I know that if I could only the object of my desires to come around to eat just a few times I would be able to ensnare her. Some men have dancing, others have flash cars or expensive jewellery, I bake.

Friday, June 23, 2006


Lots of things have been going on here are the headlines

On the way into work, the rear wheel on my bike collapsed. I had to buy a whole new wheel
A has split up with her chap, for good. She is very cut up.
I've lost so much weight over the past weeks through stress, cycling and eating well that my belts can't go tight enough anymore.
I only have a two day week next week, but it is going to be awfully busy.
I have to dash now, as I have some guests around for food.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006


Oh, on Tuesday night, somewhere between bottles 3rd or 4th bottle of wine A's manager mentioned he was going to Ibiza for his birthday. He was going to rent a villa on the quiet side of the island with a pool and relax. He was going to try and get a group together of about 10 to do this. Somehow, I ended up being one of the 10, with A and her sisters.

This plan is still in place, even in the cold light of day. The reason I mention it is the dialogue below doesn't make much sense with out this background information.

A - 'Don't you think that's an amazing swimming costume? I could wear that on the holiday.'
L - 'Yes it's rather lovely.'
A - 'And you wouldn't get any tan lines while wearing it.'
L - 'Lets see how much it is shall we? The company owe us a favour so I might be able get a special rate.'
*clicking on computers*
L - 'It's £80, you don't get a lot of swimwear for your money do you?'
A - 'Hmm, that's a bit too much for me.'
L - 'Well, I would offer to get it but £80 is more than you can spend on a friend. A tenner is fine, but I just can't spend that much on a person unless I was getting hot monkey love.'
A - 'Well August isn't for a while, I could be giving you monkey love by then.'
L - 'Yes, but would it be hot monkey love?'
A - *laughing* 'Yes.'

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

One more bottle.

A was in again today after her mini-break. Her chap and her are on the rocks again, so it looks like a break-up is happening. I would be excited but now I'm just tired of it all. Should anything be this hard work?

I feel I have rather buried myself in the moment and I've missed out on other things. It's time to have a new action plan, something less focused around a girl.

Of course I could just be a bit melancholy because I'm on the edge of getting an apocalyptic hang-over. I don't know why but if people say things like 'oh we shouldn't drink that much it's a Tuesday' I instantly go and buy more drinks, as if it is a personal challenge. The next morning I sometimes regret this.

Did I really need to buy six bottles of red wine?

Ah bless

I just spoke to our designer, she gave the new intern that I think is a hot the job because she knew I would fancy her. Isn't it nice when people at work do nice things for you? I'm sure she was joking but still.

Bless her cotton socks.

Monday, June 19, 2006


I work somewhere where other people would like to work, this means we have a constant stream of interns flowing through the place. They are always female (due to the nature of the place where I work) and awfully funny - I can't think of one that wasn't amusing in one way or another.

We had a new batch today and one of them was very pretty and very much my usual type - brunette, intelligent and feisty. I've never actually dated one of the interns, well not really. I'm still good friends with lots of them and someone I work with is dating one very seriously.

I think in a way they are almost the perfect work relationship. You get to have the flirting at work and then after a month you don't work together anymore so if it's still sparkling you continue it outside of work and if it has gone a bit sour your paths don't have to cross anymore.

Not that I am suggesting that I am going to do anything...

A weekend in the woods

I went away this weekend to visit some old friends and spend some more quality time in forests. This did mean I had to go camping which is something I can't pretend I really enjoy. This might be because every time I do sleep in a tent I drink myself into ruin and thus wake up with a stinking hangover without easy access to bloody mary's

I went for long rambling walks through woodland, completely alone which was delightful. I made a point of losing myself in the moment, I've been doing too much thinking recently. I tend to examine problems thinking them through and looking at them from different angles to find a solution, which is an asset at work but can make you think too much about relationships. Some things shouldn't be examined too much, if you sit too close to the ballet the magic disappears.

Thursday, June 15, 2006


I was just showing something to A, to do this I had to sit on her desk. Anyway, showing her the thing involved close contact, faces getting near.

'Did you feel that?' asked A.
'Feel what?' said Louche.
'That electricity, when are faces get close together I feel sparks'
'I say'

Further testing has revealed that if either of us get into close proximity we both feel tingles under the skin.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Everyone likes me, but you.

There is something in the air, girls that I know are suddenly making moves at me. Yesterday alone I had three very strong come-ons from girls. Including this gem via text which I feel I should share as an example of 'not mixed signals'. In the text before I had said she could take me out to lunch if she really wanted and asked how her dog was.

'Aw you liked my dog come to my place and ill cook you dinner. Cheeky monkey. Im lovely and tanned you'd love it. You still single?'

In the same day an old business contact asked me to Regents park for pimms and a girl I hadn't spoken to in months asked me if I fancied going to see an opera with her.


At least it is nice to get clear signals from some girls.

Yesterday I met up with my old assistant for some drinks with the Ice Queen and a few others of the Hitchcock blonds. We met in a slighty dog-eared wine bar off Regents Street and drank cheap wine and cackled. Supper dates were set and holidays co-ordinated. My mini-break to Devon is going to be awfully fun now, I just need to book the time off.


I went out for a few drinks with A last night, we were supposed to go to the show at the Hayward but I had to work late because some other people were being slow and combined with the tube issues we were not able to get there in time.

As much as I love Soho it isn't really a replacement for going to a gallery. For me Soho is a place you escape to and have manly adventures. We went to a little pub and had pints and talked. It was pleasant enough. I think A wanted to make a big night of it but it didn't happen for a couple of reasons. Mostly due to cash, I'm trying to be a bit more intelligent with my finances rather than just spending ALL my money on getting pretty girls drunk.

We had a bit of a tiff on the way back, I can't remember why it came up but A had been repeating herself, telling the same stories to me again. And it was my fault for not letting her know that she was repeating. I had actually said words to that effect, by the slightly more subtle
'Oh yes, you've mentioned this before'

but that wasn't good enough I should have told her off more forcefully. We didn't part on the best of terms, but I'm sure things will better in the morning.

On the plus side, A's friend who she is visiting this weekend is a jewellery designer so would be delighted by the book I got for an ex-girlfriend.

Monday, June 12, 2006

My feathered friend

I was writing my blog and a Finch just flew into my room and sat down next to me. It chirped at me a bit and then did a lap of the flat. I managed to catch it after a while and I took some photos before setting it free.

It seemed a bit shocked by the whole episode but flew off happily after saying goodbye.

Oh what a pretty dance we do.

One thing I didn't mention from Sunday is that I got a flirty text from A. I asked her if she wanted to come along to the family thing but after much cerebating she declined. Her text was about that, and as because I am playing it cool I decided not to reply.

I found out on Monday she was slightly peeved by my lack of reply as she wanted to have a flirty conversation. This is all part of my new plan. Sadly, as much as I regret to admit it, girls don't appear to want a chap who dotes on them. Not at the beginning at least. A whole seduction can be completely derailed by sending flowers too early, or giving a gift that is a little too well thought out.

Anyway, my new plan is to be a bit remote, and it is working. A and I are going to go on a 'not-date', just the two of us to an art gallery on a private view where I have arranged for us to get VIP treatment.

There were quite a few silly episodes today, someone brought in profita rolls and we all had some, A ate them in a messy way to try and shock me and then asked for a kiss on her chocolatey mouth. So I did. The whole of today was very flirty, we shall see how tomorrow is...

Sunday, June 11, 2006

How weekends should be.

This weekend has been well played out. It's not been one of the greats where you wake up next to a beautiful woman and find out you really do have a lot on common, or the one where I ended up going to Glastonbury on my own, but it's still very good.

On Saturday I woke up early, so I cycled up to Hampstead Heath to climb the hills a couple of times and do a proper work out. Mid-way through my adventure I decided to go on stroll to the bits where cyclists couldn't go. I explored all sorts of exciting woodland paths where the shadows from the trees dapple you like a tiger and finally came to rest next to a bench with a lovely view of the heath. I sat down and admired the view while pondering all the things that are currently making me stressed. It was lovely to spend an hour or so just thinking with no pressure to be somewhere else. I value my alone time with nature and this was some real quality time.

After this I cycled back to the flat to drop off my bike before strolling to the shops to get the weeks food. As is now my morning ritual I stopped in a café for a Salt Beef Bagel and a coffee before I went to the supermarket. I've been day-dreaming about cooking again, proper cooking for a week now so all the bits and bobs I picked up were ingredients, proper raw ingredients ready to be crafted into food.

When I went out with L and A we were talking about cooking, I love to cook for people. It's one of my favourite expressions of affection. It is one of the places I feel most at home, in a kitchen making something complicated with passion while I listen to loud classical music and take ever increasing swigs of wine from an oversized glass. It's at it's best when there is someone else there to make sample the sauces and give their opinion on what you are making.Luckilyy my female friends are more than happy to forefill this role when I am between girlfriends.

At midday on Saturday my flatmate took me to see the England game in Canary Wharf. It was rammed and very loud. I'm not really a football fan, I don't really watch any sports but this was an experience. The roar when the first goal was scored was very special. It was jolly hot and you could almost hear people's skin crisping in the sun. In the second half a lady gave me a hug and a kiss before she realised she didn't know me, it was quite amusing and she went bright red.

After the match was over the mass of people milling around reminded me of a zombie film, slightly blank faces shambling with a very detectable undercurrent of violence. Some chaps were kicking in a sign for some reason only known to them. I think they liked the loud bang it made.

It was nice to get back to the flat, and I set about making a pizzas. The dough turned out beautifully and the whole thing was very successful. I have enough to last me several days and there is nothing like pounding dough to get rid of any anger you might have going spare.

Most of Sunday was taken up with visiting my nice Aunt. The trip across London wasn't great, it was at the hottest part of the day and engineering works forced me to take two very hot buses.Luckilyy the event was wonderful when I arrived. My Aunt had invited an interesting selection of people, half of whom were psycoanalysts. We drank chilled white wine before going through to the garden to eat. The table was set out in the shade of a huge tree but hats were still provided for those who might want them.

The meal was fabulous, today was a day for chilled soup. After the meal we scampered about the garden trying to track down thetortoisee, he has been in the family for more than 30 years so generations of cousins have read him stories and told him their secrets. I found the little chap in one of the bushes and we gave him a bath with the hose which he really enjoyed. I think Hunt the Tortoise is a perfect post lunch activity while you wait for the coffee to brew.

The Tortoise now cooled andhappilyy charging around the lawns, and us armed with coffee we retired to the drawing room where one of the guests played Beethoven for us on the grand piano, explaining the pieces before-hand so we could understand then better. It was a perfect way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

I even got a lift back to the flat with one of the guests so managed to avoid the tube, which rounded things off nicely.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Draws full of memories.

I've just finished organising my room. I feel fully moved in. One of the last things I unpacked was a box full of gifts who never got their homes. Typically they were well chosen presents for girlfriends with whom things ended before the gift could be handed over. There were books on jewelry, Betty Page purses and all sorts of carefully thought about gifts, gifts that will never have their proper home.

I keep them around because occasionally I have a guest who likes one of them so they get to walk off with a spur of the moment present.

I like buying presents it's just a shame sometimes they don't get to their proper homes.

The Omen

I went out last night to see the Omen with A, and L (who I work with, she is looks like one of the Corrs and has a lovely chap called Dan who came along too) we went to the pub for a quick drink after work and then went all the way to Islington to eat some food and see the film.

The food was so-so, my chicken was woefully over cooked but we had some very interesting conversations over supper. L is a firm beliver in that if relationships are a lot of work they aren't worth the effort, you could be missing out on good people. She got this point across to A rather strongly, citing specific examples of her previous misadventuers. She also said that you should go out with people you just get on with, in a really easy way. Like A and I do.

I don't know if A took it on board re: our situation but it can't hurt.

I cycled in to work today, it was fast and I didn't experience any crime at all which was jolly pleasant. I think I'm going to do some more cycling this weekend, it's having a wonderful effect on my figure which is very pleasing. I really should go and get some tight vests or something to show off all my new interesting bumps (the ones not on my head)

And I have new curtains and a throw for my bed. It's mildly disturbing how much soft furnishings can cheer a chap up. This weekend my room will make some big steps towards being presentable.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Oh what a night

Last night was strange.

I cycled home taking a new, much shorter route. It was turning out to be much faster so I was feelnig rather jolly. At Kensington Highstreet I came across a group of youths (7 or so 17-18 year-olds) engaging in a fight with belts, which was rather vicous. As I had my do gooder hat on I stepped in between the two groups and said

'Look chaps, what ever you are fighting over it's not worth it'

They got a bit shouty and waved belts at me but I didn't back down, so it all broke up and I went back on my way.

As I continued my journey zooming around the streets I was pondering if Karma did exist and if I would get some sort of pay back for my efforts when I felt a solid object hit me on the back of the head.

A chap in a passing van had thrown a waterbomb at my head half filled with builders sand and it knocked me for six. I can remember as I fell off my bike that I must not forget the liscence plate so I repeated it to myself as the pavement had an interaction with my face. Thankfully I was wearing the cycle helmet that everyone at work had been laughing at earlier and I didn't gain any additional marks.

I called the police and they wanted me to report it in my local police station which I will have to do today.

I managed to get home (still in fairly good time, apart from the crime this new route is much better) and I met up with my friend and showed her my flat, I wasn't in the mood for cooking so we ordered some food and wine to be delivered and had that. It was nice to catch up, and she only tried to kiss me twice which I thought was very restrained of her.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Work, work, work.

Today was work work work work work. I had to do my usual Tuesday thing, which I'm hugely proud of AND I had to do another extremely tricky task. With out wanting to get nerdy on anyone it was one of the more difficult challenges I have been presented with at work, after defeating it I demanded a medal, and it better be a good one.

It was very stressful but this is definitely one I can file under 'reasons why I should get paid more'.

A and I had a very pleasant lunch, we got sandwiches and went for a sunbathe in the graveyard. I know that sounds rather morbid but it is the only green space for miles and it is lovely and wild. I used to walk through it to work every day so it has a special place in my heart. Being out of the office and in the sun really helped relax me so I could return to my tasks and not have my brain leak out of my ears.

Of course when I returned everyone in the office thought I had just had a shag as my hair was all ruffled and my clothes creased. It was a very silly afternoon in the office, I blame print week and high temperatures. Tomorrow will be even worse.

Work, moving and flirting.

Monday was a rush, I had loads of work, had to move the final selection of my things out of my old flat and A was being very flirty. Lets deal with these in order.

Work is manic at the moment, we have 5 new people starting this week, which for a fairly small company is a massive increase. Plus we had a couple of work experience girls come in as well. We have actually run out of desks. It's fun to have the office so alive with people, I hope it all works out. Thankfully I still have my early mornings for quiet time.

I got the final selection of things from my old flat last night, it mostly consisted of (and this is not a fabrication in the slightest) P.G. Wodehouse books, cocktail making equipment and top hats. For future reference top hats are a Dickens to transport about with out a decent hat box. It was a bit sad saying goodbye to the flat that I have spent the last 3 years in (the entire time I have been in London), and that is tied in with so many memories. Not that many wild parties but lots of good times with chums and girls. Is it wrong to feel so sad about just a flat?

A was very flirty today, massively so and then someone at work accused us of having an affair. I've been getting this for a while but I think this is the first time A experienced it. I protested the sad truth rather strongly which I later found out offended A a bit. She thinks I should have gone 'yes, we are at it like rabbits'. I don't think she quite gets that as her boss I can't really make claims like that. It wouldn't be proper. Or perhaps I'm just being stuffy?

I went to see A do another gig last night, it was an excellent gig she was really alive on stage and the rest of the band were clearly having a really good time too. I spent most of the gig at the bar with her manager making small talk. We stayed on to listen to the next act which was a very jumpy chap called Ivory who sang a rather potent ditty called 'F*ck the boys in blue' to a hip-hop/drum and bass tune. He was a very entertaining performer.

After the gig A and I strolled along Upper Street looking for somewhere to eat, we settled on a lovely little French place, tucked away on a side street. It was lit by candles and the wine was fabulous. We talked about all sorts of nonsense and it was very pleasant. I was a bit quiet due to a mixture of being tired from moving and feeling a dash sad about moving house but we still had a good time and I manged to make her giggle more than once.

We parted ways at the tube, she hugged me for an excessive amount of time and then kissed me on the lips twice. My legs went a bit tingley.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

What a lovely day.

I've had a great sunday. I woke up stupidly early so I decided to use my time wisely and cycled over to Hampstead Heath to do some exploring and some extreme hill climbing. I nearly fell off my bike when I took a root rather too fast with the intention of jumping and it provided much more of a lift than I expected, this caused me to cackle with the simple glee of not having spacked out all over the hill. I'm not sure what the other people in the park thought of me.

After a bit more hill climbing I zoomed home and had a shower before setting off to Spittlefield to meet some complete strangers.

Or actually not meet them, we arranged to do a 'cookie' drop like KGB style spies, I was told were the package was and went to retreve it. That part went well and then a strange chap asked me for my cookies. It was very surreal - it turned out he was a pal off the people so once the confusion had been settled we went for a stroll around the markets. It is so very pleasant when strangers turn out to be friends you just haven't met.

It was lovely I had some wonderful food and brought a loaf of bread which is making me drool just typing about it. I also got a t-shirt I saw that I knew A would love. I'm not proud of getting her gifts but it just happened. I will sit on it for a while until the right time comes to hand it over, like when she is single.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

In which we talk about forests.

I went to a forest yesterday, it was beautiful. I went with a load of friends and spent the whole day walking around and exploring. I don't know what it is about trees but just looking up through the canopy relaxes me like nothing else. It's akin to taking valium (or so I assume), after just five minutes of it I forget everything that is bothering me and just enjoy the moment.

Towards the end I was sat on a tree stump covered in moss watching the sun go down across the trees. It was stunning, the light edged everything with gold and swarms of insects danced around looking like they were alight because of the way the sun caught them. It was mesmorising and I could have stayed their for days just soaking up the atmosphere.

I love the country side so much, I live in the city, and I do like it but I will always be a country boy at heart.

Thursday, June 01, 2006


A started tossing a coin this afternoon, I asked why and it was because her chap wasn't able to make it down for their meeting to discuss if they had a future. She was tossing the coin because he had said she could come and see him in Manchester this weekend if she wanted, but he didn't really mind either way.

She had planned to be going down to Devon to see a friend, I'm much more pro this idea as this friend has ordered her to marry me, and we have never even met.

She did some more coin tossing but the results were inconclusive.

In other money matters I just checked my bank balance and it was considerably less than I thought it would be. This is going to make things tricky.

Female friends, blindfolds and muffins.

Ah, Female friends are such a boon. Every chap should have a plethora of them to hand.

It is one of those magical things that one can always spot the problems and solutions in other people's relationships that makes people so handy to have around. Plus you can go shopping with female friends and they are unlikely to engage in competitive farting.

During this slightly confusing period with A my female chums have been invaluable. Women folk, I salute you.

I've managed to sort out my sleeping issues a bit more, thankfully I work in just the sort of office that has blindfolds just cast aside on desks. I have a very snazzy one now with 'that tickles' on it, which while also being rather becoming has the added benefit of meaning I shouldn't get woken up by the light streaming into my room at 5am. As a longer term solution one of the ladies in the office has some old navy curtains I can have so that should sort out the problem longer term.

I went for lunch with A and was perfectly pleasant. We talked about all sorts of things apart from relationships and then, when we returned tot he office she started throwing bits of muffin at me. Which quickly turned into a food-fight/light wrestling.

If I wasn't affecting an air of disinterest I would take that as a rather good sign.