Nonsense he wrote

Well after a morning spent in the library I now have 3000 lovely fresh words with emotional depth. Hurrah, that's enough for my homework but I'm not really finished. I'm going to pop out to get a portfolio from an art shop and then I'll go and write some more words.

Then I'll have to start my other homework. All of this is possible thanks to the miracle of extremely strong coffee. I made a batch with the moka pot this morning and I'm still buzzing away happily. Is there any problem that can't be solved with a cup of coffee or tea?

Faith and the fop

I'm not a terribly religious sort. For a start I like evolution too much as a concept, it's just so logical. It doesn't just work on animals you can see it in clothes. Look at the early suits and you can see how they changed to fit the purpose of the times. Admittedly as far as I'm concerned fashion peaked at around 1820 but that is a different matter.

What I'm saying is that except from the occasional prayer offered up to the gods of journalism, or the diety of coffee in thanks for a strong brew I don't really do religion.

However every now and then something happens that makes me wonder if their isn't some sort of over-reaching power that has plans. For instance, just this morning while taking a pause from writing nonsense I started to think about women. One of the nice things about single is you can spend time pondering what it would be like to date one woman or another.

Perhaps you would take one on a picnic as a first-date or maybe whisk another off to Budapest? It's all possible in theory because you are single and so you can do anything. This morning as I waited for my mokapot to brew I was pondering what it might be like to date Alesha Dixon who was the absolute star of Strictly Come Dancing just before Christmas.

Once the coffee had brewed I didn't really give it a second thought, that is until my friend who writes a gossip page for a newspaper called this afternoon. She wondered if I would be so kind as to go to a party hosted by Alesha Dixon tonight post-brits and see if anything entertaining happened.

I thought about this for a while, and then said yes. I mean, if the powers that be want me to drink free cocktails with Alesha Dixon then who am I to argue?

New Moka life

One of the additional nice things about going to Devon for a little mini break is that it gave me the chance to pick up my Christmas presents that I had to leave behind. I couldn't take them with me before because I was a homeless bum and homeless bums aren't going to get much of a chance to use a lovely, beautiful moka pot.

I must say that previously I found people who fell in love with objects a bit strange. I've got friends who have named cars, bikes and even clothes. Yes, they are all male. I had that opinion simply because I just hadn't met the right object. Which is a round-about way of saying I don't just like my new moka pot, I adore it.

Of course I can't tell it that because I've got to play it cool.

It's so beautiful, I mean it's really stunning. The polished metal and sharp yet perfectly measured angles make it look faintly reminiscent of a woman or perhaps that is just my frame of mind at the moment.

It doesn't just look lovely, it brews amazingly strong coffee in the most thrilling way. The liquid that comes out of it is fiercely potent so that you should really only have one serving of it, and that should be in the morning when you have a whole day to ride out the effects. It's proper coffee, bitter with subtle tones that race around the pallette and that makes your whole body tingle. It also reminds me of my time in Italy when I nearly died and as a result reinvented myself. The way it makes the coffee is very exciting too, but that has to be witnessed to be understood.

My little brother gave me two lovely cups to use with the moka pot, they are tiny espresso cups in classic off-white. They even have saucers, I don't think I've owned saucers before, they give me a lot to live up to. Oscar Wilde had the same thing about his best crockery and once said

"I find it harder and harder every day to live up to my blue china."

Even if I can't quite live up to my coffee making equipment it is perfect if I should have a guest staying over and I want to impress her with the perfect cup of coffee in the morning.

Not that I'm having guests over at the moment, I don't want that sort of antic at right now. I thought I did but guests can turn into regular guests and regular guests can turn into relationships and I really don't want one of those.

After all I'm already seriously involved with someone - my moka pot.

I hate this dog as much as I love the moka pot

The mental war between man and dog hasn't ended yet.

The beast behaves itself in the flat and if I alone take it on a walk but it is still naughty at other times. When I tried to accompany T.P. to the shops this morning it was very, very bad.

First it was pulling on the lead if T. P. got ahead of us, then when T.P. went into the shop to get some things and the creature went bananas. It was barking, jumping about and bucking on the lead. It continued to play up until T.P. was well out of sight and even then it only moved off with great reluctance.

Once T.P. was gone again the thing started to behave itself again, so the battle of wills isn't quite over yet.

Are all city dogs this much trouble? I've looked after dogs before and nothing has been this awful. I wonder if I can get away with putting it in a kennel for the rest of the time it's owners are away or maybe just in a big hole?

I'm not sure what I'm going to do otherwise, is it possible to die from dog sitting?

In more positive news this flat has a moka pot. I used it for the first time today, my word that's some strong coffee, it was like a pure hit of velvety caffeine.

I want to use it again but I'm not sure my heart could take it. Saying that if I did die from a coffee overdose I wouldn't have to see that beastly creature again...