Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Oh it's a sailors life for me!

I've always wanted to go Tall Ship racing, I think because I was born about 200 years too late to really get stuck into a bit of firing cannons at French people and jumping about with swords. It's almost entirely wasted on the modern world that I'm decidedly dangerous with a sabre, can ride horses like I was born in the saddle and can wear a floppy hat with panache.

So it was great delight that I'm managed to persuade an editor to let me go Tall Ship racing for a feature. While the sailing would be limited to going from point A to point B with very little chance of boarding actions or capturing Spanish gallons it will definitely let me run up and down the rigging and possibly keep an eye out for any Dutch pirates that might be in the area.

Now I just have to organise the blasted thing, which for reasons that aren't really worth going into will require a full background check before they will let me get on the ship.

I bet a chap didn't have to put up with this when Nelson was in charge.


Gorilla Bananas said...

When Nelson was in charge they would have applied a cosh to your bonce to get you on board. I think you should try a Hawaiian canoe after this.

The Topiary Cow said...

Tall Ship Racing? All-girl surfing?

(Cow sighing for the exciting life some non-Topiary lead)


And, Cow agrees with GB, what a commentary, we've gone from forced press gang crew to background checks required.


Anonymous said...

Despite Cow's udder belief in what you say about the background check, I'm quite convinced if you just find the right bar (somewhere very near the water), drink enough rum (with a certain wink), and pass out that you are certain to wake up in the rat-infested hold of a leaky, creaky three-masted vessel.


Louche said...

Gorilla - Hawaiian Canoe eh? Sounds good. Can Gorilla's swim?

Cow - The test doesn't sound too scary after talking to a policeman chum, it's just a pain.

BigBouquet - That is an excellent plan for getting picked up by sailors.

Anonymous said...

By the way, as a former resident of Oahu, let me share this advice: please jot down in your "Adventures to try" notebook that it is called an outrigger, not a Hawaiian canoe.

I will now go back to fantasizing about men in boots, with fitted trousers, cravats and floppy hats, sitting tall in the saddle as though born to it, and rattling all matter of sabres (private, name-related joke there). Where did I put those "Pride and Prejudice" and "Master and Commander" dvds?

[Women seem to have a fondness for this look; you may want to consider bringing it into the 21st century just to see what would happen. Add to list of adventures?]

Deshabille Daisy