A dictionary of journalism

I've been tagged with the question What revelations have you had since taking up your writing career? by Sarah. I'm not sure if I call it a career yet, I've not got to shout 'stop the press' although I have said 'You can't tell me what to print, we have a free press in this country'.

That is slightly less exciting when you find out that it was said while I was working on a restaurant review. Since my experience is decidedly limited instead I'll provide a useful dictionary which lists the definition of words that I have learned while doing this.

Journalist - Someone who lies for a living.

Writer - Someone who lies for a living but secretly wants to write a book.

Hack - A derogatory word used by other journalists to describe one with regular work.

Columnist - A journalist who is either sleeping with an editor or knows an editors dark secrets so they are allowed to write about their choice of underpants and get paid for it.

Freelancer - A special sort of tramp that only hassles Editors for money instead of members of the public.

Case Study - A friend who is willing to pretend that they live with a horse/found love online/only eat apples so you can interview them.

Copy - Words taken from a press release.

Deadline - A special excuse used by journalists to say why they can't go out on a date/meet a PR for lunch.

Press officer - A person designated to not be able to answer your questions, or if they do agree to talk will provide the answers too late to go in the piece.

Sub-Editor - Either someone who removes all the jokes from your copy or makes it ten times better and yet strangely doesn't get a credit.

Editor - A being with such power that they make gods look a bit tired and weak.

Editor in Chief - The god of gods, a bit like Zeus.