The day has finally arrived, I'm going to go to a recording of Have I Got News For You with an old friend. It's not just any studio visit. It's going to be a VIP tour - my friend knows the sister of the senior producer.
I've already spent an entire morning thinking about my sock options, because like all studio visits you have to allow for the possibility that some cigar smoking T.V. mogul will say
'Hey see that that completely unknown chap with the marvellous socks, we should give him a job'.
To be fair this actually happened to me once, but I was wearing a silly shirt and it was in Scotland where these things happen all the time. I rather messed it up by going to a different party to meet someone when I should have stayed and talked about program ideas.
At the next party I got into quite a serious fight (ended up in A&E) for talking like an Englishman in public and then bumped into a ex who had turned stalker on me, but by Jove I learnt my lesson about staying at the right party.
If you were wondering the sock I have settled on it's a pink one with a red heel and toe, if that doesn't say 'six figure writing contract with a production credit' I don't know what does.
I have no idea what a production credit is, it's just something you are supposed to ask for. I think it might be some sort of space aged money that they use on T.V. sets instead of normal cash.
I want to buy an elephant to commute on.
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