Project Biodome

I'd never been to the Eden Project before so when the family had informed me they were making a trek down to see the Biodomes I thought I'd amble along too and drag along the Hitchcock Blonde for good measure.

If you've not heard of the Eden Project it's a couple of big biodomes that mimic warm environments with plants and things so it can be like visiting the Amazon but without the long flight. Jolly good, I thought it will be just like Jurassic Park, but a bit more dull.

I was sort of right, I had underestimated how much poetry, badly researched facts and other preachy nonsense could be squeezed into a biodome. Don't get me wrong the biodomes are amazing - as in the structures - but the rest of the place is a bit of a non-event.

The first picture is from a sort of display about how important plants are. If we don't have plants people will turn naked and die. It's quite an important message but it spoiled buy the fact one of the 'things' that we need and we can only have because there are plants is 'sponsors for this display'. Oh no! No sponsors? What would we do with out them?

The actual things in the Biodomes are a bit dull, I mean it's a load of plants so if you like looking at plants you are in for a great time. Lots of plants.

The signs for the various growths are extremely annoying as they don't tell you anything useful, or interesting. Instead they includes strange symbols like the one below. It's nothing that a good sub-editor couldn't sort out, someone with the gumption to say 'No' when a writer wants to include another poem about the spirit quest of the vegetable people. I don't need a sign to tell me that a plant is 'beautiful'.

Facts, that what we want. Speaking of facts. The Biodomes look like something from Mars at night, especially with the strange statue of a metal man near them. Look!



So here is my guide to having fun at the Eden Project
a) Don't stay for too long, there really isn't that much to see. You can do it all in an hour.
b) Go on a hot day.
c) Avoid reading any of the signs.
d) Don't spend too long wondering why the the gift shop sells every item of clothing possible, apart from trousers.
e) Take a Hitchcock Blonde
f) If you must pretend you are on Mars, make sure you don't get caught practicing your low-gravity Mars walk as an elderly couple from Birmingham will think you are a mental.