Saturday, September 06, 2008

Stupid Geese


It's been raining here a lot, I mean a lot. The fields have turned into swampland. The chickens aren't terribly amused by this, we have had to relocate all their houses so that they aren't submerged.

The ducks are okay with the swampy fields but they don't like all the raining - if it's sideways rain they tend to just hide. The only animals who don't seem to change their habits for the rain are the geese. They just stroll around honking about how it is raining.

'I just got hit by something wet'

'I another wet thing just landed on me'

Geese are really stupid, that special sort of stupid that would do really well working in local government. They are excellent at ignoring the facts and acting in a way that seems completely illogical - I'm amazed they haven't run for office yet.

12 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

Are geese really stupider than chickens? Chickens look really stupid when you look into their eyes.

Clair said...

Does this mean I ought to be ashamed of the fact that I was once scared witless when a big goose chased me up the garden?

Anonymous said...

they're running for office in australia

Amanda Castleman said...

Not to mention Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin in the States! Way to promote abstinence-only sex-ed and wind up with a gym-slip-mum 17-year-old!

Louche said...

Gorilla - Geese really are amazingly stupid, the chickens are far more bright.

Clair - Yes, SHAME ON YOU. Geese are wimps and you could easly beat one in a fight.

NurseMyra - Have they got your vote?

Amanda - Oh political!

BPP said...

Geese are arseholes. I once worked at a dog-kennels (slopping out dog shit for a living) that had geese, and they were fuckers. You'd go off to feed 'em (after a morning of hoiking shit and fighting Rottweillers), and they'd hiss at you and attack you. I used to go armed with a dustbin lid, just so I could fight 'em off for long enough to get their feed down, the shitbags.

Louche said...

BPP - When our geese get too gobby (usually when I'm feeding them treats or putting them to bed) I grab them by the neck, this renders them helpless and you can then pick them up and give them a hug. They stop shouting at this point. Of course this depends if you want to hug a goose.

Also it makes me suspect that Swans aren't as hard as everyone makes out, they have been living on their reputation for far too long...

BPP said...

I'd agree with that. I've tested that 'the swan will break your arm' theory on a swan before. I poked at it, and it hissed at me and then did fuck all else. My arm remained unbroken, and I proved the theory was nothing but an old wives' tale. So I won.

And I was damned if I was hugging them geese. Hitting 'em with a bin lid worked just fine for me.

Louche said...

I'm definitely looking forward to eating the geese for Christmas lunch, there is nothing like eating an animal that tried to bite your leg when you were feeding it bread.

BPP said...

Serves it right. I hope the geese I had to fend off in my youth ended up as lunch - a fate they deserved, the snappy, hissing little bastards.

I like sausages, m'self. Healthy British sausages, reared in the shit-filled fields of Lincolnshire and free from insidious European interference.

tsduff said...

Geese really aren't stupid. They just like rain. I like geese - like to eat them, and listen to them as they fly overhead... I like their goslings soft peeps, and yes, I even enjoy being on the lookout for their sly running up to bite you on the calf antics. They have teeth.

Louche said...

Tsduff - I am sorry to say I must disagree with you, Geese are morons. I can see them outside right now and they are being stupid.