I'm starting to get ready for my trip to London, a social calender is being put together, various meetings have been arranged and I've shaved off my silly Miami Vice beard.
While shaving I discovered that an Abe Lincoln beard rather suits me, so perhaps I should go and join a puritanical order in America for a bit. I don't think I'd get on with the religious aspect but the facial hair wouldn't be a problem.
Also I've just found out that my 'slot' for the stand-up is 25 minutes, that's erm about 20 minutes longer than any previous slots I've had so my options are:
a) Say everything five times.
b) Speak at 20% of normal speed.
c) Come up with some new stuff.
Currently A is winning, but B has potential too. The only way C is going to really work is if my journey up to London turns out to be hilarious in a 20 minute sort of way, not exactly likely but we shall see. Or, I could try and date four women in the next four days and try and squeeze five minutes of material out of each relationship. That might work...
6 comments:
Tell them things about your penis, that usually gets laughs. A story about how a lobster tried you bite your dick when you fell overboard might take up 5 minutes.
Ideas for stand-up:
Airline food - What's that all about?
Political correctness - What's that all about?
The Council Tax - What's that all about?
Then, put a beret on your head, shrug up your shoulders, pucker your lips into an 'o' and say:
"Ooo, Betty! Jessica's done a whoopsie on the carpet! Oooo!"
That should see you through the extra twenty minutes.
Gorilla - Lobsters eh? I like it.
BPP - This is comedy gold, I hope they have a nice brick wall for me to stand-up in front of when I perfomr.
I hope you've packed some loud shirts and had your hair cut into curtains? You wouldn't want to let the stand-up side down.
Internet dating is apparently designed for no other purpose other than to obtain comedy act material. At least that's been my experience.
BB - I think you are right, it's a shame I couldn't arrange that.
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