Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Abe Lincoln and his amazing beard


I'm starting to get ready for my trip to London, a social calender is being put together, various meetings have been arranged and I've shaved off my silly Miami Vice beard.

While shaving I discovered that an Abe Lincoln beard rather suits me, so perhaps I should go and join a puritanical order in America for a bit. I don't think I'd get on with the religious aspect but the facial hair wouldn't be a problem.

Also I've just found out that my 'slot' for the stand-up is 25 minutes, that's erm about 20 minutes longer than any previous slots I've had so my options are:
a) Say everything five times.
b) Speak at 20% of normal speed.
c) Come up with some new stuff.

Currently A is winning, but B has potential too. The only way C is going to really work is if my journey up to London turns out to be hilarious in a 20 minute sort of way, not exactly likely but we shall see. Or, I could try and date four women in the next four days and try and squeeze five minutes of material out of each relationship. That might work...

6 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

Tell them things about your penis, that usually gets laughs. A story about how a lobster tried you bite your dick when you fell overboard might take up 5 minutes.

BPP said...

Ideas for stand-up:

Airline food - What's that all about?
Political correctness - What's that all about?
The Council Tax - What's that all about?

Then, put a beret on your head, shrug up your shoulders, pucker your lips into an 'o' and say:

"Ooo, Betty! Jessica's done a whoopsie on the carpet! Oooo!"

That should see you through the extra twenty minutes.

Louche said...

Gorilla - Lobsters eh? I like it.

BPP - This is comedy gold, I hope they have a nice brick wall for me to stand-up in front of when I perfomr.

BPP said...

I hope you've packed some loud shirts and had your hair cut into curtains? You wouldn't want to let the stand-up side down.

Anonymous said...

Internet dating is apparently designed for no other purpose other than to obtain comedy act material. At least that's been my experience.

Louche said...

BB - I think you are right, it's a shame I couldn't arrange that.