The miracle of television

I don't know if you have seen a program called It's me or the dog; for those who haven't it's a show where a lady with a slightly posh voice and a nice line in more than mildly. S&M clothes goes to houses and sorts out problem dogs.

It's fun to watch as at the start of the show the dogs are awful monsters who think they are in charge of the pack and exhibit very naughty behaviour then over the course of an hour with three advert breaks these dogs are transformed into paragons of canine manners. The methods she uses to do this are all subtle and don't involve any hitting or sticks and I must admit until today if someone had mentioned them in the pub I would have said

"That's a load of bollocks, it's all cut for television that would never work."

And I would have been wrong. I took the thing (it won't get a name-check until it has been good) out when I walked T.P. to work, after about 10 metres he went mental; possibly because he had seen a dog.

'Ha!' I thought it my head 'It's time to use the power of knowledge to tame this foul beast'

So I calmly walked in the opposite direction. This confused the devil-dog, he barked and tugged and fought but I was the Buddha of dog training, my force was absolute and delivered with a small smile. So after quite a bit of fighting it returned to my side. I waited and then we continued on the walk. It started to tug on the lead again so we changed direction. This happened a few more times until the doggy neurons started to connect.

By the time we were half way into the diamond district of London he was walking alongside me next to me and sort of responding to my commands of heel.

It was nothing short of amazing, actually amazing. I wouldn't have believed such a big transformation could have taken place in such a short amount of time.

In the future I'm know to trust television, perhaps I'll take the dog to Albert Square, the pub in that documentary about the East End looks very nice.