Wednesday, November 07, 2007

A list of things that are banned

I thought I would provide a list of things that are banned. This isn't a nasty list as fact that these things are banned by TP is an almost endless source of amusement for me

1) Asking her what she had for lunch
I don't know why but I'm not allowed to know what she had for her midday meal. Last night she said 'can I ask you any question in the world?' I said yes and she asked one about feelings. I asked her what she had for lunch. I actually missed the answer because I was laughing so much.

2) Moving fast in bed
I had a period of bad dreams where I kicked about a bit in bed and the poor TP got the occasional glancing blow to the shins while I was asleep. Because of this all fast movement on the bed has been banned. So of course I follow this to the letter and move at a sub-snails pace when it's time to get up.

3) Eating too much fruit
Due to growing up in a tropical Paradise of Peru, TP got to eat bountiful armfuls of fresh fruit as a child. She has decided that that's enough fresh fruit for the rest of her life and so doesn't eat it anymore. She does still eat vegetables but buying fruit is a wanton extravagance.

4) A Television being close to a sofa
The television should be as far away as possible, even if as TP you are a bit short sighted so you can't actually read any of the words on the television anymore. This also means that if we play computer games together (Yes she is really into Halo 3 at the moment, how ace is that?) we have to sit on the floor.

5) Being consistent
She goes through phases, so by the time I've worked out exactly how she likes her G&T it's dead to her eyes and she will only drink wine.

6) Writing stuff like this in the blog.
After I post this I'll probably have to go into hiding. tee-hee-hee.


piqued said...

Yes, but she still has tits

Louche said...

This isn't a list of bad things, it's really a list of things that make me laugh.