The Devil's Interview

No news again. The exciting job emailed me to say they would be disappointed if I took a job somewhere else but didn't actually make a formal offer so it was just a frippery. I think they are waiting for someone who looks after the money to say 'yes you can employ this person' rather than being coquettish through choice.

I've accidentally grown a beard again, honestly you leave your face alone for a few days while working on some things and BANG you look like the sort of chap who would fight for the round heads in the English Civil War.

Speaking of the English Civil War 'The Devil's Whore' is excellent. It's worth watching just for the clothes but it has a story as well if you like that sort of thing, although it seems that the Civil war was a very windy place as the actors are constantly having their hair blown about. Maybe that was the cause of the problems, messy hair.

Smug couples

Yikes, I get distracted by work interview related things and suddenly I've not posted for days. Still no real news from the interview, I had another interview for another job and so I'm waiting to hear back from that too. Also on Friday while doing some bikey stuff I met a features editor from a motorbike magazine and he wants to meet for coffee and talk about ideas which is marvellous.

So now the ideal plan would be to get this less exciting job, although it's still fairly exciting, and then write for the features editor at the weekends. Yes that could be lovely, it would suit me very well thank-you-very-much.

Aside from that not much to report. I've been practically joined at the hip with the Hitchcock Blonde. She has been taking me to exciting gigs in amazing buildings and lots of other lovely things but I've not really been reporting it because well it's a bit dull isn't it? 'We did this and it was nice, we did that and it was nice.'

I really hope I'm not becoming part of a smug couple.

Not much else to report really, I'm working a head hard on things in fact I should be working on something right now but instead I've cut my nails, had a coffee and admired my rapidly expanding collection of 18th century prints. Which isn't that impressive, a month ago I had none and now I have two, still it's a start.

Tell me about your interests

Well I think it went okay. I was in there for hours, and I think I impressed them with the amount of research I'd done before walking in there. One of the chaps was taking pages and pages of notes of things I said they could do better so at the very least they will nick a load of my ideas and impliment them badly.

They sent me an email a few hours later asking for my salary requirements and saying I was in 2/3 candidates they've seen but who knows what that means, it might just be the work equivilent of 'no, no of course I'll respect you in the morning'.

Either way I managed to get some writing stuff while I was there, so that's a good it will probably cover the travel costs. So now I wait, well not really wait I've just had another interview for a job today which also went well so that's good.

I've been put forward for two other jobs but they are a little less exciting than this other job but they are for more money and wouldn't involve relocating. Choices, choices eh?

The big day

Well I've got an interview today. It's the big day, I've prepped and primped so I think I'm fairly ready.

I've got the shoes, a brown brogue because it's a casual office but I want them to know I'm serious. These brogues aren't that comfortable though so if I have to walk long distances they cut my feet into ribbons. They are the man equivalent of fancy shoes that you can't walk in but you wear them anyway because they are so lovely. I hope the chaps I'm meeting today appreciate them.

I've got some other things going on tomorrow, for slightly less exciting companies but they want me to start right away which would be good as this month hasn't been a exactly a top one for commissions. My favourite editor has been away doing travel features and so my main source of income has been away sunning herself on beaches instead of answering my calls.

I've got last minute interview nerves, mostly brought about for two reasons.
1)I've not had a serious interview in at least six years so I'm a little rusty.
2)Last night I noticed a couple of glaring errors on my C.V. so I hope that they don't notice them.

Aside from that I'm fairly chipper, or at least full of coffee.

Street art in Notting Hill

I'm not sure this is exactly what the traffic cones were supposed to be doing on the street but they look rather good like this. There are lights mounted in the pavement which are giving the cones this magical glow.

I'm sure Dan Flavin would approve.

Cartwheels and Dodos

At the weekend the Hitchcock Blonde revealed that she used to be a bit of a whizz at gymnastics as we walked through the park. So the subject of cartwheels came up and she of course said that there was no-way that I could back up my slightly unlikely claim of being able to do one.

In her defence I do tend to crash through life with the grace of a slightly drunk elephant but I couldn't let a challenge like that go unanswered and so one cartwheel later there were some mildly surprised people in Hyde Park and I had some very muddy gloves, and badly disguised limp.

After the impromptu gymnastics display we ambled over to the Natural History museum to look at giant eggs and dinosaurs. I've not been to the museum for ages but I still knew most of the dinosaur section of by heart and so could give a relatively informative guided tour, The Hitchcock Blonde was not as impressed by this as she should have been.

As an aside please can a scientist use the DNA from the bit of Dodos that are around and bring them back? I'd also like the return of the Elephant bird and the Giant Sloth. Thanks in advance.

One I'd had my dinosaur fix we bimbled over to the V&A to look at the glass exhibition, it was the Hitchcock Blondes choice. It didn't do a lot for me but at least compared to the dinosaurs it was very peaceful.

It wasn't that bits of class aren't jolly exciting, it's just that there was a lot of modern glass-wear there so large parts of the exhibition looked like a section of John Lewis. Actually, lets be honest here. Dinosaurs are far better than glass, even etched lead-crystal glass from the 18th century.

As a reward for not smashing up any glass we went to a nearby Dim Sum place and ordered so much food that I felt really rather unwell. I think my Dim Sum addiction has finally been cured.

A plethora of suits

I'm not sure what to wear for the interview. Normally the wardrobe area would be the one part of it all that I'd be absolutely sure of but this job is a bit different. It's for a deeply macho company and so I think any sort of flamboyant style should be toned down.

In fact one could even go in wearing some of the items associated with the macho activity which is something I'd considered but since I won't actually be doing the activity on the day it might be a bit off - After all wearing jodpers when not actually riding a horse is a bit silly. It's not something to do with horses, that was an example.

So yes, I'll have to dress smart but I suspect it will be a casual office, if not super causal so perhaps not a tie? Or perhaps a waistcoat but with some less formal shoes? This is compounded slightly as I'm off to London to visit the Hitchcock Blonde today (hurrah, I can't wait) and I have to pack in advance and any options I choose will have to be lugged across London.

Oh and I'll have to take a complete change of very large clothes with me because I'm doing something else next week that requires specialist equipment and so I'm edging into suitcase territory. I'll have to pack an overnight bag, some normal clothes, one set of interview clothes and the bulky clothes for this other activity.

I bet Ironman never had this problem.

The Chair

I've got an interview, yup my first interview. I have to arrange the date and all that but it's jolly exciting. It's with exactly the sort of company I want to work for, which means a bit of relocation will be in order but nothing too bad.

So yes, jolly exciting. This job was slightly more interesting because well it wasn't really advertised or anything like that. I just phoned the company up and had a chat with someone. I'm not sure if there is a lesson in that or not.

The Stalker Index

A chum of mine is having a bit of an issue with her ex-boyfriend. He was, a little controlling and they have split up but remain 'friends' because they met through business and they still work together on some bits and bobs.

His actions have got a bit intense since she joined Facebook. Every time a chap comments on her page or she talks to a man, or even become friends with a man he instantly phones her up to ask who they were and what was going on. Not terribly healthy as I'm sure you can imagine.

Anyway yesterday she decided to restrict what he could see on Facebook. Tucked away in the settings is a way of limiting what someone sees of you online so that to them your profile is static and unchanging. This means that while you still remain 'a friend' on Facebook nothings really going on there.

I talked her through how to do this and joked at the time that we would get an idea of her ex-boyfriend's Stalker Index by how long it took him to notice. If it was a month or so, well it doesn't even register, a week is okay too. A day or so and it's starting to get a bit concerning and if he texted her angrily about what she did before the day is out well that started to get a bit worrying. If of course he raged at her in hours then he was obsessively checking her profile and it was a bit scary really.

In the end the text arrived after 15 minutes, yup he was checking her profile that regularly. Oh dear indeed.

I'm off hunting

Not Grouse, nor bear, not even rabbit. Currently I'm hunting for jobs. I've decided that the life of the freelancer, although it has it's charms is not for me and so I'm casting about for regular work for 'the man'.

I've even got a C.V. now, which is a bit of a result, I've managed eight years without one - it's amazing how many jobs I've 'found' in pubs.

I was half-hoping that I could continue in such a way but alas I think some goals, how ever stupid and noble sometimes must be cast aside. And so with heavy heart I started arranging a list of things I have done. it was a slightly different experience to when I last wrote my C.V. at the time I was fresh out of university and didn't really have any job experience so my C.V. was a loose collection of half-truths and willful misunderstandings to make me look more like the sort of chap who should have a job. It worked, eventually, after I wrote a covering letter that was, well The Brothers Grimm could have included it in one of their story books as it was so fanciful.

This time things are a bit better, I've got some actual experiences which is a good start so my resumé is made of hard facts, which makes the interview process less fraught - if I get to that stage. Currently from my applications I've had zero response but these things take time and the economic climate isn't quite a glowing as it once was.

Also as a sign of the new times I've dug out an old coat. It's a beautiful three quarter-length black number, with an absolutely stunning silhouette. I brought it years ago on the King's Road when I left an awful job and it seem some-how right that it should come out again. The coat was retired a few years ago so it's going to be taken to the dry cleaners and then it will be my interview coat.

Now that I've got the right sort of garment for serious work I'd imagine that I'm bound to find something soon.

Well well well

I'm only 5 posts away from 800 posts. That's quite a lot of gibberish to leave around on the internet. I'd imagine I'm going to be told to tidy it away soon.

It's been a fairly eventful time. I lost my job, three friends and a father. It's not been all bad, I've brought some excellent suits gone on crazy adventures and drunk rather a lot of cocktails.

I wonder what the next 800 posts will be about? Although I'm not sure if our future alien/robot/time traveller overlords will allow us to keep blogs.

India Knight's new book

I have had the radio on over the last few days, and India Knight has been all over it. She has been in the newspapers too because she has a new book out, one about to save money and it's terrible.

Why may you ask? Because she is rich, not Russian Oil Baron rich but she does very well thank you very much, and so the tips she provides are absolute nonsense. This sort or rot annoys me immensely. Since I don't have children if I wrote a book on how to raise them it would seem a bit off, no? So why should we listen to her about being poor? When was the last time she had to live off potatoes and milk for a week? Eh? Or what about having to set off for an interview a few hours ahead because you had to walk there instead of get the bus?

Oh and another thing, can people stop going on about their working class roots, if you've never done any manual labour in your life you can't really claim to be working class, you spaz. Honestly, some of these politicians couldn't swing an axe if their life depended on it.

Right, I'm so enraged by this all I'm going to go and chop some wood. Yeah, you heard me, then I'll go and pick some apples to turn them into cider. Represent.

Everything must go

Flush from the heady success of selling some old tat on Ebay and making £37 whole pounds I am now going to flog extra things. It's going to be a collection of abandoned hobbies, sartorial disasters and books I never even read in the first place. I'm hoping that this will be exactly the sort of gumphf that the people of the Internet are just gagging to get their hands on and thus I can make perhaps even more than 37 whole pounds. Of course, I won't make that really, because I've got to post the damn things and I suspect that at least one of the items is going to cost a fortune to post, pesky books.

This clean out is in part inspired by the excellent Halloween party I went to, it was absolutely amazing. The entire house was set-dressed to amazing levels, there was even frightening wallpaper and the evening meal included carrots in the shape of skulls.

It was a small event, but very enjoyable and it's definitely set the standard for future Halloweens for me. After that I've been filled with a resolve to get stuff done and so I'm cleaning out even more tat and flogging it for reasons I can't really explain but mostly due to a desire to reduce the amount of tat I own.

Of course I have a sneaking suspicion that these funds may be diverted so I can by some slightly different tat, perhaps of the mechanical nature but that's not important. This is progress, yup it's time for a change.

Che Guevara Pumpkin

Check out the Mark Two pumpkin carved with my own hands.

I'm not saying anything, but...

But the people of small town are horrible to me, and say I'm not local enough. A few days later, it gets hit by a biblical style storm.

So you haters better watch out.