Tales from the Keys (part 1)

I have arrived, the trip was uneventful with a slightly bumpy landing. Immigration was a doddle, we were through in seconds but then we had to wait for ages while my chum (Neil) waited for his precious guitar to appear. It was lucky I was around because a rather full figured lady slipped out of her wheel chair and so I had to help her back in.

When we finally arrived Neil couldn't find the car hire voucher so we had no idea of where the car was hired from or anything like that. After a few phone calls to companies that had closed for the day I managed to find it in a bag using the process of deduction. So I saved a lady and solved a mystery, one more thing and I would have to invest in a cape.

The car we got is something called an HHK it has tiny windows so it is like driving around in a submarine, it's not quite the convertable mustang we had last year but at least I go places with out having my hair scrambled up. I kept seeing coconuts on trees as we drove around but sadly they are out of season so my dreams of eating one fresh of the tree may have to wait. I might be able to manage some other fruit but finding someone with a mango tree who will let me eat one is going to be tricky.

In the evening we went to a Tiki hut for drinks, The chap we are staying with (Conrad) has a girlfriend who has a flat on the beach in a cool art-deco towerblock. So we met up with her and then walked the 40 meters down the beach to her local boozer. It was an open bar with a roof made out of trees and they served very good cocktails, I drank a lot until my legs started to go numb. It was a good bar, American's don't seem to get 'pubs' but when they go for they can do a damn good cocktail bar.

After a few more drinks we hopped in the submarine to another bar called Bostons, it was slightly themed as you can imagine and had a band belting out 'top 40 hits' with a pretty yet very bored singer wearing a top that was designed to produce as much cleavage as possible. There was a baseball game on so the men would watch the game and then during a break they would stare at the ladies chest in a slightly bored manner. The inner Simon Cowell in me wanted to tell the lady off for not giving it a bit more energy but luckly I was too polite to say anything. She really was very bored looking, it was like a slightly annoyed check-out girl was singing.

I drank beer for a bit and then had an experiemental Guiness which was a bad idea, It was foul and made me feel sick. Almost instantly sick, there was no velvetly smoothness or anything. A girl at the bar said my hair was cute but we couldn't talk for long as I was busy feeling ill, so we only chatted briefly about things and I told her how lovely my girlfriend was. Then I went home to bed.