Hats.

I had a date on Friday, a proper date. It was jolly exciting, we were supposed to go ice-skating but instead we had tapas and got outrageously drunk. I was still drunk the next day, it was like special long-life booze had got into my system or something.

She was very pleasant but I'm not sure how it went really, she didn't hit me or anything but it didn't end up with anything naughty either. She wore a very silly hat which covered up her beautiful hair, but had excellent shoes on so I suppose that balances out. I would like to see her naked, or failing that in a better headgear.

I spent the rest of the weekend meeting various girls for coffee and eating Chinese food, then I went home and wore my only pants while watching the telly.

Today I have been playing about with colour palettes and fiddling with computery stuff to do with colour palettes, I like it because I get to have long conversations about what 'Aegean Cruise' says as a colour compared to 'Hop Grove 2'. We had quite a heated debate about 'Inner Shell' but thankfully I managed to put forward my point and the shade was avoided.

I went for lunch with all the girls as a very lovely person has been offered a job and said yes, we had nice warm pasta and talked about weddings, boots and why parents don't understand dating. It was very gay. One of the girls said I should become a wedding planner. She said in a loud voice, during a timely gap in the music.

'Any bride would feel safe in your hands on her wedding night'

The whole bar looked at me, and I blushed all the way home.