Saturday, April 01, 2006


I have spent the last four days at the Vitality Show. If you have never been to this show it is a real experience. People take actual suitcases just to fill up with freebies, I pity those people.

The Thursday of the show was okay I suppose, the first day is normally quite good fun as it is all new and we had a load of entertaining people there. Of the two new girls we hired one of them had to leave because her brother had a car accident and the other turned out to be a real star. I think she is going to come and do some semi-regular work for us now which is nice. I would like to do rude things to her but if she works for us that can never happen, still it doesn't hurt to have pretty girls in the office.

In the evening was one of our work parties, I had invited hoards of girls including a few ex-girlfriends. Here is a run down of what happened on that night, in the style of the news at ten
Here are the headlines.
Two strangers grabbed my bum (1 girl, 1 boy)
A 'very nice' P.R. got drunk and showed me what a good lesbian she could be (I'm still not sure why), she also told me about how once she had a 'lezz-off' with another pole dancer and won because the other lady came over a punters knee.
I introduced K to a chap who runs an underwear company, she said she was an 'underwear stylist' and after about 5 minutes him and his business partner offered to fund her own rage of underwear.
Total count of exs for the evening was 4, the ex-porn star got a bit jealous of the attention being given to the fake lesbians so insisted on doing an impromptu photo shoot on the stairs on the way out. The bouncer said it was 'Great'
I did quite a lot of pole dancing, and and a female stranger stuffed a tenner into my pants.
Total bar bill for me, and I only arrived at 10pm - £211
I got a lift home in a two-seater Merc with a girl on my lap, we passed 8 police cars and they didn't spot it.

Not a bad night really.

I went home alone, through choice.

Friday at the show was harder, as everyone was hungover. In the evening we had the leaving drinks of B which was a very jolly affair, she said goodbye and everyone was very silly. I arranged a competition where A (who was working on our stand) had to hold a deck of cards in her mouth while B tickled her, bets were placed on how many cards would be spat out and a good time was had by all. B ended up going back to Henry's house for a cup of tea which is jolly exciting as I think they would get on very well, if it wasn't for the fact B is moving to Devon.

Saturday was even harder, more people were at the show but three days of it can break anyones spirit. We struggled through and I was so tired that I even turned down the offer of a house party with some fun people because I needed some sleep.

Sunday was the killer, four days of battling through the endless waves of show people combined with little sleep and the fact that all the girls had left (B was picked up by her mother at midday) so there wasn't even anyone to play with.

I have met middle England now, and I don't like it.

Right, I have to go and get ready for work, I have lost an entire weekend so this is my 8th working day in a row and I have quite important meeting, gah.

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