Saturday, April 04, 2009

Do you speak Corporate?

I've been at this company for a while now, large companies are alien and strange places. It's not just that there are different rules, it's like working in a different country. There are people who have jobs that I just can't fathom, and yet they are incredibly powerful.

There is a football pitch outside the office, with a sign on it that says 'no ball games'. Actually it's even better than that. Someone injured themselves in the indoor football pitch and so well. This is an actual email sent around.

'Dear All

Due to another injury within the sports hall today we are temporarily banning all indoor football activity until further notice. We shall be reviewing all risk assessments and procedures in place and I shall update you accordingly.



On Friday we had a test of a new alarm system for things that were bad, but weren't fires. We have a fire alarm which is tested often.

Actually it went off for real last week and everyone had to leave because thick, milky smoke filled the building. A fire you'd think, right? No actually, the source of the smoke has still not been found. We had an email about that. 'We don't know what caused the fire, or what it was'.

How can you not manage to find a fire?

Anyway, this new not-fire alarm is for things like bombs. Yes they mentioned bombs in the email. How should one leave the building in the event of a bomb that one shouldn't do in the event of a fire? Do we really need two alarms?

It's a weird world out there.

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