Sunday, February 07, 2010

10 Lessons learned this weekend

1) Never enter a quiz about a sports subject when the other team in the quiz is made of people who are WORLD CHAMPIONS of that sport. Not knowing about the subject but actually doing it. You will lose.

2) Apparently going on lots of dates with girls makes you HOT to other girls. So people like Lycra say 'can we go on a date sometime?'

3) If you have run out of money to get home, it is possible to barter with cab drivers.

4) It is possible to have lots of dates in an evening, but it does mean you spend rather too much time thinking about clocks when you should be gazing into their eyes lovingly.

5) If a girl at then end of the date asks you when you are next in London, this might be a clue that she would like to see you again. If you don't pick up on this until you are on the train home you are a spaz. A Spaz like Louche.

6) If Lycra asks you for a date, don't get too excited because the next day she may say 'she needs a few months before she is ready to date'.

7) The way to cure the bafflement over this is to ask out the nice girl from the night before for another date.

8) This is extra cool if you realise that Lycra and the other girl (known as 'The Hat' from now on) are walking down the same street as you call them, only meters apart.

9) If you go out in a public place in a tight t-shirt after months of working out, strange women will come up to you and squeeze your arms. This requires a set of social skills that I'm not equipped with, yet.

10) Don't start a list of ten lessons learned when you haven't thought of all ten.

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