The art of dating

I'm going to a bash in London tomorrow. The art dealing chum is hosting another private view and so I'm going to amble down to join in the fun.

I'm taking along an actress I met at a birthday party a few month ago. The one I send telegram style text messages too (how are you STOP fancy some gin on Saturday STOP etc) We are chums, so she is going to provide entertaining company and giggles while we admire art.

I could have invited a date to go along but that might have been a bit weird. There will be loads of people I know there so that would be a bit full on.

Also Lycra will be there, so I'm hoping that she is consumed with jealousy over seeing me with another woman. This sort of plan works in films so it's bound to work in real life.

I can see no flaws in this plan, apart from now that I think about it every time someone does it in a film it normally goes wrong. Oh dear.