Thursday, August 06, 2009

The table cloth of regret

I had a drink with Chuck last night to see if we could work things out. Things weren't worked out but my god I tried. I was grown-up and everything. I think sometimes people don't actually want things to fix even though they say they do. I didn't know things were completely broken until about midnight.

The whole evening was like a mental boxing match, for moments I'd win her over and then she would circle back to the bad telephone conversation and it would start all over again. At one point we even parted ways and said goodbye, and as I was walking up the hill to go home she called back to me asking how much port I had left.

This sort of stuff continued in the house. She would swing wildly between being flirty and then sat on the other side of the room. In the end she got a cab home, and I was quite clear that I had quite enough female friends thank you very much and so I doubted she would get to join them.

Of course I'm sad that it is over, especially since I tried so hard to keep things going but there is a happiness in knowing where you stand, even if it's in a bad way. I can move on now.

Oh and I wasn't going to invite her back to my cottage, but I'm glad I did. I thought it was a sanctuary away from her, but it's also a reminder of what she missed out on, she said as much.

I had no idea a carefully chosen table cloth could be a weapon.

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