Two steaks is more than enough for any man.

My younger brother was supposed to be visiting this weekend but a complete transport breakdown caused it to get cancelled at the last minute. This is sad as I was looking forward to him coming over to see my new place.

It's a shame, but ultimately it's probably a good thing. In a few weeks I'll have a fridge and a cooker and other things to make the house a bit more habitable and ready for guests. I don't even have a bed for myself yet, let alone for guests. Still even with that view it's a shame my brother wasn't here for the weekend.

I got the news that he wasn't going to appear after I'd returned from a big shop to get things to eat while he was here, since I don't have a fridge I had no choice but to eat it. Two large steaks later and I was feeling a bit strange.

This wasn't enough of a weird feeling to stop me going to a friends engagement party. I zoomed over on the bike getting lost about a dozen times, I have yet to perfect the art of checking the route on the Iphone and then actually remembering it. Hopefully it will come in time.

The party was good, low key and polite rather than a drunken mess, which surprised me but I suppose people have to grow up eventually. I stayed on the soft drinks and then rode back. The ride was excellent, it was dark, I chose a route that was all wiggly roads. Including a bit through a forest that was a bit magical and I had music playing so for an hour or so I was completely in the moment.

Absolutely no thinking about girls or any of that nonsense just concentrating on getting the next corner absolutely right. It was almost a shame to arrive home, but I did and went to sleep with radio 4 quietly whispering in the background.

I've got no real plans for today. It's weird, I've completely reverted to my single life style again. Vast empty weekends punctuated by the occasional visit to see chums or ride just for fun. It's not a bad lot really.

The table cloth of regret

I had a drink with Chuck last night to see if we could work things out. Things weren't worked out but my god I tried. I was grown-up and everything. I think sometimes people don't actually want things to fix even though they say they do. I didn't know things were completely broken until about midnight.

The whole evening was like a mental boxing match, for moments I'd win her over and then she would circle back to the bad telephone conversation and it would start all over again. At one point we even parted ways and said goodbye, and as I was walking up the hill to go home she called back to me asking how much port I had left.

This sort of stuff continued in the house. She would swing wildly between being flirty and then sat on the other side of the room. In the end she got a cab home, and I was quite clear that I had quite enough female friends thank you very much and so I doubted she would get to join them.

Of course I'm sad that it is over, especially since I tried so hard to keep things going but there is a happiness in knowing where you stand, even if it's in a bad way. I can move on now.

Oh and I wasn't going to invite her back to my cottage, but I'm glad I did. I thought it was a sanctuary away from her, but it's also a reminder of what she missed out on, she said as much.

I had no idea a carefully chosen table cloth could be a weapon.

New place

I'm in. It is good. The decoration is a bit Spartan, because, well I don't own that much furniture. Still It makes the cottage look nice and large.

I've brought some blinds, so I have a measure of privacy which is nice and I think once I have a fridge and a cooker I'll feel very moved in indeed. Not having a fridge is okay, you just stay away from dairy things a bit more, the lack of cooker is a bit more annoying. It's a Sunday, I'm reading the papers while listening to radio 4 and the only thing missing from this scene is a large chunk of meat slowly roasting in the oven.

Well there are a few more things missing, like a table, but that's not the point. I've got a bit of an easy day planned today, I'm going to go and buy some pipes so that I can plug in the washing machine and perhaps one of those draining board things. It's amazing how many little things you need to make a house work.

It's all rather fun getting them together though. I wouldn't say I'm exactly house proud but I am strangely pleased with my 'duck egg blue' blinds in my bedroom, or actually 'the master bedroom' to be exact.

That's another weird thing about living on your own. Your stuff can go anywhere. I'll never have to have the sort of conversation where someone, usually a girl says:

'Do we really want the sofa to go there?'

Someone at work has already tried to move in with me, but I said no. I said it politely of course, but he is a bit of a berk and I moved here to have a place on my own.

It's a bit strange at first, I've always lived with other people and I've always been the lodger, or at least the flatmate who has been there the least amount of time. This means that you don't have dominion over the telly and you have to ask first if you want to have chums over for port.

I never felt like I could really relax, where as now I can. This is my space. Roar