Monday, December 12, 2005

Many girls in pants

Friday was great, Saturday was great, Sunday was great. It was all great.

Friday was a 'special party' for women who are happy to admit they like sex and like dressing up or something, what this means is a club full of girls in their pants, being outrageously flirty. I was sprayed gold and dressed as an angel (with two chums dressed the same) and these to things together are great. Great.

There was twister which had some marvelous moments, my friend T joined in when the board was full of supple lovelies but he found himself playing an entirely male game and his face was hovering awfully close to rather unpleasant places on other males, so he twisted his way to the edge of the board far away from them. More girls joined in at this point but apparently all the straining female flesh was a bit to much for him and he ended up slipping and dropping out of the game. Jolly good show though.

I got a lap dance for a female friend from the female lap dancer, I am still not entirely sure why. It was lovely to watch but also a little bit strange. Still the friend had delightfully Rosy cheeks by the end of it all.

We put lots of booze in our faces and the chaps talked to lots of girls, I did a bit of talking but all the new ones I talked to knew me already (but I didn't remember it from before) so I stopped doing that and just talked to female chums. The party organiser was there, looking stunning again but as she talks to me like I am a 'special needs' child I am not entirely sure how one progresses on from that to 'hey, lets get a drink'. She is marvelous though. Even if I do something ace for her (say get her a free pole dancing pole worth over £500) she treats me like a mong who just happened to find a key to save the world because it, was shiney and tasted of locks.
Sort of like this

Girl-'Oh no this nuclear station is going to explode in 30 seconds unless we can find the reprogramming unit'
Me - 'I say I just happen to have a reprogramming unit here, I picked it up earlier'
*hands unit over to girl*
Girl - 'What's that mungo? You have found something? Wow you found the unit, what are the odds of that? Oh bless you and your simple ways you must have picked it up because it was shiney.'
Me - 'Actually no, I thought there was a chance that the evil Dc McDoctor might destroy the unit as part of his plan so I took the liberty of bringing a spare'
Girl - 'Good Mongo, when we get back I will make sure you get some Jelly'
Me - 'I would much rather see you naked to be honest'
Girl - 'Yes Mongo, jelly with ice-cream'

And so on

On Saturday Scottish chap and I went to a rock pub we met up with L and did some great speed drinking. L was on form that night and after a speed-chinese we scampered onto a party for some of L's friends in Hampstead. I would like to live in Hampstead, but it would be terrible to get to work from there. Alas. Still we got jolly drunk and did silly things with wax. We all drew pictures of mustelids drinking and then talked about why girls were rubbish, with girls. I talked to a Swedish girl about differences in the sex lives of Swedish people and Britishers. Then we poored more wax on the table and broke a lighter, it was like being the bench of naughty people at the back of the physics lesson that think they are cool but are actually a bit spazzy. If we had been wearing matching ties they would have been tied in a funny way and possibly customised with tippex.

Sunday involved going to museums, learning about aliens and then drinking lots of ale in my local pub.

A brilliant weekend.

Today I went for lunch with the Scotch person and girls from the office, one of the girl is going to write me a reference as boyfriend material, that is the second girl to suggest that in a couple of weeks.
It is an improvement from being thought of as gay, maybe I should I start a new blog called 'I'm not mentally retarded' and just chronical my adventures with the marvelous party organiser instead.

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