Electricity

I was just showing something to A, to do this I had to sit on her desk. Anyway, showing her the thing involved close contact, faces getting near.

'Did you feel that?' asked A.
'Feel what?' said Louche.
'That electricity, when are faces get close together I feel sparks'
'I say'

Further testing has revealed that if either of us get into close proximity we both feel tingles under the skin.

Everyone likes me, but you.

There is something in the air, girls that I know are suddenly making moves at me. Yesterday alone I had three very strong come-ons from girls. Including this gem via text which I feel I should share as an example of 'not mixed signals'. In the text before I had said she could take me out to lunch if she really wanted and asked how her dog was.

'Aw you liked my dog come to my place and ill cook you dinner. Cheeky monkey. Im lovely and tanned you'd love it. You still single?'

In the same day an old business contact asked me to Regents park for pimms and a girl I hadn't spoken to in months asked me if I fancied going to see an opera with her.

*sigh*

At least it is nice to get clear signals from some girls.

Yesterday I met up with my old assistant for some drinks with the Ice Queen and a few others of the Hitchcock blonds. We met in a slighty dog-eared wine bar off Regents Street and drank cheap wine and cackled. Supper dates were set and holidays co-ordinated. My mini-break to Devon is going to be awfully fun now, I just need to book the time off.

Soho

I went out for a few drinks with A last night, we were supposed to go to the show at the Hayward but I had to work late because some other people were being slow and combined with the tube issues we were not able to get there in time.

As much as I love Soho it isn't really a replacement for going to a gallery. For me Soho is a place you escape to and have manly adventures. We went to a little pub and had pints and talked. It was pleasant enough. I think A wanted to make a big night of it but it didn't happen for a couple of reasons. Mostly due to cash, I'm trying to be a bit more intelligent with my finances rather than just spending ALL my money on getting pretty girls drunk.

We had a bit of a tiff on the way back, I can't remember why it came up but A had been repeating herself, telling the same stories to me again. And it was my fault for not letting her know that she was repeating. I had actually said words to that effect, by the slightly more subtle
'Oh yes, you've mentioned this before'

but that wasn't good enough I should have told her off more forcefully. We didn't part on the best of terms, but I'm sure things will better in the morning.

On the plus side, A's friend who she is visiting this weekend is a jewellery designer so would be delighted by the book I got for an ex-girlfriend.

My feathered friend

I was writing my blog and a Finch just flew into my room and sat down next to me. It chirped at me a bit and then did a lap of the flat. I managed to catch it after a while and I took some photos before setting it free.

It seemed a bit shocked by the whole episode but flew off happily after saying goodbye.

Oh what a pretty dance we do.

One thing I didn't mention from Sunday is that I got a flirty text from A. I asked her if she wanted to come along to the family thing but after much cerebating she declined. Her text was about that, and as because I am playing it cool I decided not to reply.

I found out on Monday she was slightly peeved by my lack of reply as she wanted to have a flirty conversation. This is all part of my new plan. Sadly, as much as I regret to admit it, girls don't appear to want a chap who dotes on them. Not at the beginning at least. A whole seduction can be completely derailed by sending flowers too early, or giving a gift that is a little too well thought out.

Anyway, my new plan is to be a bit remote, and it is working. A and I are going to go on a 'not-date', just the two of us to an art gallery on a private view where I have arranged for us to get VIP treatment.

There were quite a few silly episodes today, someone brought in profita rolls and we all had some, A ate them in a messy way to try and shock me and then asked for a kiss on her chocolatey mouth. So I did. The whole of today was very flirty, we shall see how tomorrow is...

How weekends should be.

This weekend has been well played out. It's not been one of the greats where you wake up next to a beautiful woman and find out you really do have a lot on common, or the one where I ended up going to Glastonbury on my own, but it's still very good.

On Saturday I woke up early, so I cycled up to Hampstead Heath to climb the hills a couple of times and do a proper work out. Mid-way through my adventure I decided to go on stroll to the bits where cyclists couldn't go. I explored all sorts of exciting woodland paths where the shadows from the trees dapple you like a tiger and finally came to rest next to a bench with a lovely view of the heath. I sat down and admired the view while pondering all the things that are currently making me stressed. It was lovely to spend an hour or so just thinking with no pressure to be somewhere else. I value my alone time with nature and this was some real quality time.

After this I cycled back to the flat to drop off my bike before strolling to the shops to get the weeks food. As is now my morning ritual I stopped in a café for a Salt Beef Bagel and a coffee before I went to the supermarket. I've been day-dreaming about cooking again, proper cooking for a week now so all the bits and bobs I picked up were ingredients, proper raw ingredients ready to be crafted into food.

When I went out with L and A we were talking about cooking, I love to cook for people. It's one of my favourite expressions of affection. It is one of the places I feel most at home, in a kitchen making something complicated with passion while I listen to loud classical music and take ever increasing swigs of wine from an oversized glass. It's at it's best when there is someone else there to make sample the sauces and give their opinion on what you are making.Luckilyy my female friends are more than happy to forefill this role when I am between girlfriends.

At midday on Saturday my flatmate took me to see the England game in Canary Wharf. It was rammed and very loud. I'm not really a football fan, I don't really watch any sports but this was an experience. The roar when the first goal was scored was very special. It was jolly hot and you could almost hear people's skin crisping in the sun. In the second half a lady gave me a hug and a kiss before she realised she didn't know me, it was quite amusing and she went bright red.

After the match was over the mass of people milling around reminded me of a zombie film, slightly blank faces shambling with a very detectable undercurrent of violence. Some chaps were kicking in a sign for some reason only known to them. I think they liked the loud bang it made.

It was nice to get back to the flat, and I set about making a pizzas. The dough turned out beautifully and the whole thing was very successful. I have enough to last me several days and there is nothing like pounding dough to get rid of any anger you might have going spare.

Most of Sunday was taken up with visiting my nice Aunt. The trip across London wasn't great, it was at the hottest part of the day and engineering works forced me to take two very hot buses.Luckilyy the event was wonderful when I arrived. My Aunt had invited an interesting selection of people, half of whom were psycoanalysts. We drank chilled white wine before going through to the garden to eat. The table was set out in the shade of a huge tree but hats were still provided for those who might want them.

The meal was fabulous, today was a day for chilled soup. After the meal we scampered about the garden trying to track down thetortoisee, he has been in the family for more than 30 years so generations of cousins have read him stories and told him their secrets. I found the little chap in one of the bushes and we gave him a bath with the hose which he really enjoyed. I think Hunt the Tortoise is a perfect post lunch activity while you wait for the coffee to brew.

The Tortoise now cooled andhappilyy charging around the lawns, and us armed with coffee we retired to the drawing room where one of the guests played Beethoven for us on the grand piano, explaining the pieces before-hand so we could understand then better. It was a perfect way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

I even got a lift back to the flat with one of the guests so managed to avoid the tube, which rounded things off nicely.

Draws full of memories.

I've just finished organising my room. I feel fully moved in. One of the last things I unpacked was a box full of gifts who never got their homes. Typically they were well chosen presents for girlfriends with whom things ended before the gift could be handed over. There were books on jewelry, Betty Page purses and all sorts of carefully thought about gifts, gifts that will never have their proper home.

I keep them around because occasionally I have a guest who likes one of them so they get to walk off with a spur of the moment present.

I like buying presents it's just a shame sometimes they don't get to their proper homes.

The Omen

I went out last night to see the Omen with A, and L (who I work with, she is looks like one of the Corrs and has a lovely chap called Dan who came along too) we went to the pub for a quick drink after work and then went all the way to Islington to eat some food and see the film.

The food was so-so, my chicken was woefully over cooked but we had some very interesting conversations over supper. L is a firm beliver in that if relationships are a lot of work they aren't worth the effort, you could be missing out on good people. She got this point across to A rather strongly, citing specific examples of her previous misadventuers. She also said that you should go out with people you just get on with, in a really easy way. Like A and I do.

I don't know if A took it on board re: our situation but it can't hurt.

I cycled in to work today, it was fast and I didn't experience any crime at all which was jolly pleasant. I think I'm going to do some more cycling this weekend, it's having a wonderful effect on my figure which is very pleasing. I really should go and get some tight vests or something to show off all my new interesting bumps (the ones not on my head)

And I have new curtains and a throw for my bed. It's mildly disturbing how much soft furnishings can cheer a chap up. This weekend my room will make some big steps towards being presentable.

Oh what a night

Last night was strange.

I cycled home taking a new, much shorter route. It was turning out to be much faster so I was feelnig rather jolly. At Kensington Highstreet I came across a group of youths (7 or so 17-18 year-olds) engaging in a fight with belts, which was rather vicous. As I had my do gooder hat on I stepped in between the two groups and said

'Look chaps, what ever you are fighting over it's not worth it'

They got a bit shouty and waved belts at me but I didn't back down, so it all broke up and I went back on my way.

As I continued my journey zooming around the streets I was pondering if Karma did exist and if I would get some sort of pay back for my efforts when I felt a solid object hit me on the back of the head.

A chap in a passing van had thrown a waterbomb at my head half filled with builders sand and it knocked me for six. I can remember as I fell off my bike that I must not forget the liscence plate so I repeated it to myself as the pavement had an interaction with my face. Thankfully I was wearing the cycle helmet that everyone at work had been laughing at earlier and I didn't gain any additional marks.

I called the police and they wanted me to report it in my local police station which I will have to do today.

I managed to get home (still in fairly good time, apart from the crime this new route is much better) and I met up with my friend and showed her my flat, I wasn't in the mood for cooking so we ordered some food and wine to be delivered and had that. It was nice to catch up, and she only tried to kiss me twice which I thought was very restrained of her.

Work, work, work.

Today was work work work work work. I had to do my usual Tuesday thing, which I'm hugely proud of AND I had to do another extremely tricky task. With out wanting to get nerdy on anyone it was one of the more difficult challenges I have been presented with at work, after defeating it I demanded a medal, and it better be a good one.

It was very stressful but this is definitely one I can file under 'reasons why I should get paid more'.

A and I had a very pleasant lunch, we got sandwiches and went for a sunbathe in the graveyard. I know that sounds rather morbid but it is the only green space for miles and it is lovely and wild. I used to walk through it to work every day so it has a special place in my heart. Being out of the office and in the sun really helped relax me so I could return to my tasks and not have my brain leak out of my ears.

Of course when I returned everyone in the office thought I had just had a shag as my hair was all ruffled and my clothes creased. It was a very silly afternoon in the office, I blame print week and high temperatures. Tomorrow will be even worse.

Work, moving and flirting.

Monday was a rush, I had loads of work, had to move the final selection of my things out of my old flat and A was being very flirty. Lets deal with these in order.

Work is manic at the moment, we have 5 new people starting this week, which for a fairly small company is a massive increase. Plus we had a couple of work experience girls come in as well. We have actually run out of desks. It's fun to have the office so alive with people, I hope it all works out. Thankfully I still have my early mornings for quiet time.

I got the final selection of things from my old flat last night, it mostly consisted of (and this is not a fabrication in the slightest) P.G. Wodehouse books, cocktail making equipment and top hats. For future reference top hats are a Dickens to transport about with out a decent hat box. It was a bit sad saying goodbye to the flat that I have spent the last 3 years in (the entire time I have been in London), and that is tied in with so many memories. Not that many wild parties but lots of good times with chums and girls. Is it wrong to feel so sad about just a flat?

A was very flirty today, massively so and then someone at work accused us of having an affair. I've been getting this for a while but I think this is the first time A experienced it. I protested the sad truth rather strongly which I later found out offended A a bit. She thinks I should have gone 'yes, we are at it like rabbits'. I don't think she quite gets that as her boss I can't really make claims like that. It wouldn't be proper. Or perhaps I'm just being stuffy?

I went to see A do another gig last night, it was an excellent gig she was really alive on stage and the rest of the band were clearly having a really good time too. I spent most of the gig at the bar with her manager making small talk. We stayed on to listen to the next act which was a very jumpy chap called Ivory who sang a rather potent ditty called 'F*ck the boys in blue' to a hip-hop/drum and bass tune. He was a very entertaining performer.

After the gig A and I strolled along Upper Street looking for somewhere to eat, we settled on a lovely little French place, tucked away on a side street. It was lit by candles and the wine was fabulous. We talked about all sorts of nonsense and it was very pleasant. I was a bit quiet due to a mixture of being tired from moving and feeling a dash sad about moving house but we still had a good time and I manged to make her giggle more than once.

We parted ways at the tube, she hugged me for an excessive amount of time and then kissed me on the lips twice. My legs went a bit tingley.

What a lovely day.

I've had a great sunday. I woke up stupidly early so I decided to use my time wisely and cycled over to Hampstead Heath to do some exploring and some extreme hill climbing. I nearly fell off my bike when I took a root rather too fast with the intention of jumping and it provided much more of a lift than I expected, this caused me to cackle with the simple glee of not having spacked out all over the hill. I'm not sure what the other people in the park thought of me.

After a bit more hill climbing I zoomed home and had a shower before setting off to Spittlefield to meet some complete strangers.

Or actually not meet them, we arranged to do a 'cookie' drop like KGB style spies, I was told were the package was and went to retreve it. That part went well and then a strange chap asked me for my cookies. It was very surreal - it turned out he was a pal off the people so once the confusion had been settled we went for a stroll around the markets. It is so very pleasant when strangers turn out to be friends you just haven't met.

It was lovely I had some wonderful food and brought a loaf of bread which is making me drool just typing about it. I also got a t-shirt I saw that I knew A would love. I'm not proud of getting her gifts but it just happened. I will sit on it for a while until the right time comes to hand it over, like when she is single.

In which we talk about forests.

I went to a forest yesterday, it was beautiful. I went with a load of friends and spent the whole day walking around and exploring. I don't know what it is about trees but just looking up through the canopy relaxes me like nothing else. It's akin to taking valium (or so I assume), after just five minutes of it I forget everything that is bothering me and just enjoy the moment.

Towards the end I was sat on a tree stump covered in moss watching the sun go down across the trees. It was stunning, the light edged everything with gold and swarms of insects danced around looking like they were alight because of the way the sun caught them. It was mesmorising and I could have stayed their for days just soaking up the atmosphere.

I love the country side so much, I live in the city, and I do like it but I will always be a country boy at heart.

Money

A started tossing a coin this afternoon, I asked why and it was because her chap wasn't able to make it down for their meeting to discuss if they had a future. She was tossing the coin because he had said she could come and see him in Manchester this weekend if she wanted, but he didn't really mind either way.

She had planned to be going down to Devon to see a friend, I'm much more pro this idea as this friend has ordered her to marry me, and we have never even met.

She did some more coin tossing but the results were inconclusive.

In other money matters I just checked my bank balance and it was considerably less than I thought it would be. This is going to make things tricky.

Female friends, blindfolds and muffins.

Ah, Female friends are such a boon. Every chap should have a plethora of them to hand.

It is one of those magical things that one can always spot the problems and solutions in other people's relationships that makes people so handy to have around. Plus you can go shopping with female friends and they are unlikely to engage in competitive farting.

During this slightly confusing period with A my female chums have been invaluable. Women folk, I salute you.

I've managed to sort out my sleeping issues a bit more, thankfully I work in just the sort of office that has blindfolds just cast aside on desks. I have a very snazzy one now with 'that tickles' on it, which while also being rather becoming has the added benefit of meaning I shouldn't get woken up by the light streaming into my room at 5am. As a longer term solution one of the ladies in the office has some old navy curtains I can have so that should sort out the problem longer term.

I went for lunch with A and was perfectly pleasant. We talked about all sorts of things apart from relationships and then, when we returned tot he office she started throwing bits of muffin at me. Which quickly turned into a food-fight/light wrestling.

If I wasn't affecting an air of disinterest I would take that as a rather good sign.

A Cad, a bounder and most definitely louche.

I'm not a terribly nice person when it comes to women normally. Well perhaps nice is the wrong adjective, I don't say nasty things to them or hit them but I do have a bit of a history as a bit of womaniser.

I've had jealous boyfriends pull guns on me, or arrange for gangs of unworthy characters to attack me in nightclubs because of my actions. In business meetings girls have slipped their hands on my knee and made it very clear that should I go around for a coffee, then they would give my company favourable terms.

I even escaped getting arrested once on the condition that I took the policewoman out to the theatre.

I do okay with women. There is even a discarded blog on the internet detailing my misadventures, abandoned when I realised I didn't want to become that sort of man.

Thankfully I haven't but it has swung the other way. I've become the victim, completely enthralled by a woman who isn't even available.

Well it stops here, right now. If things do work out with A, well thats nice, if not well that's nice too.

Louche is back.

Conflict

Well A was is in a better mood today, sadly this is because she is going to try and make things work with N. They are going to take a couple of weeks 'out' and see how things are.

Just when you think you are making some progress...

Complicated.

Girls, are complicated.

A appeared today and was pretty shell-shocked looking to say the least. She is clearly very cut up about breaking up with the chap - even the break up isn't as clear as it could be. We went for lunch and she cried a bit about stuff, I didn't really know what to say - so I lent her my favourite hankie.

It was strange, for moments there were flashes of the happy her, the one I knew so well and then she would return to this slightly fragile girl who was rather confused about the whole situation. It seems she isn't entirely sure if the breaking up was a good idea because she feels so bad. I feel slightly trapped as through all of this I have been only able to hint at my emotions towards her, so who knows if she is aware of how I feel?

The Ice Queen had this advice.

Even if a relationship is coming to an end anyway, if you meet someone else it is then very hard to work out if the relationship is ending because it's run out of steam, or is it because you're all excited about this new person.

You don't want it to be because you met the new person because a) that makes you the bad guy, & b) perhaps you're not giving your current relationship a chance because you've got a novelty distraction on the scene.

If you split up with your long term partner you also don't want to start seeing someone else IMMEDIATELY as again - you're the bad guy....and also are you on the rebound, in which case you've hurt everybody.

V much friends for now as she'll need space to be on her own for a bit.

So it is a waiting game now, a painful one too. I remember sharing with her during one of our drunken adventures that my greatest fear was seeing friends in trouble and being unable to help. It seems in part, that I am now in that situation.

I was talking to a male friend about it all, the typical masculine reaction to the same situation is so very different, almost the opposite. The emotions are bundled away into the dark cave of the male mind and then the chap moves on, as briskly as possible.

I'm working late tonight, as is traditional on Tuesdays. I'm exhausted (I've been in since 6am) and tonight I have to do the final stage of packing so I am completely moved out.

Monday

Monday was lovely, I went and did some shopping at the nearby temple to capitialism so I have some food in the flat. I splashed out on a hunk of lamb so my flatmate and I could have a big meal to mark the historic occasion of moving in. It turns out he is a bit of a would-be chef too so a bit of good natured competitive cooking is going on between us so we should eat very well.

I also met up with my old friend Mac who I rather got out of touch with because we were opposite sides of London. Now we are far, far closer we will met up for coffee a lot more. It's nice to live close to an old friend again.

The afternoon was spent cooking the feast for us while watching Zulu and then I went for a bike ride to Hampstead Heath. I had no idea the Heath was so high up. It was really enjoyable exploring little winding lanes of Hampstead on my bike, I was even lucky enough to do it while the weather was good.

I love a good bike ride, there is nothing like it for lifting my mood so when I returned to the flat I was buzzing with good humour. I spent the rest of the afternoon reading and napping, it was lovely.

Then of course I got the call from A.

Mondays are marvellous.

Breaking news

A just called. She has split up with her boyfriend...