Weekend adventures, part 2

Having stiffened up my resolve and changed into a fresh set of party togs I skipped up to Earls Court for the rest of the weekend. The theme of the weekend seems to be relative strangers so I'd be going to a birthday party of someone I'd never met with a good friend.

The party was in Oxfordshire so I was bundled into a car (again mostly filled with people I didn't know) and we set off. The drive was good fun - we listened to music and managed to completely avoid getting lost even though the directions were vague (the arrow on the map pointed to nothing).

It was a very well equipped bash, there was a huge tent for everyone to dance inside filled with a plethora of booze, a chequered dance floor and the loudest sound system I've ever encountered outside of a festival. There was a hog roast but I wasn't really in any sort of state to eat that much.

Everyone was in fancy dress, superheros were a fairly popular look but thankfully there was only one of each hero - I was the only super hero without foam in his costume to make him seem more manly. Modern men eh?

The most popular costume, especially for couples was Top Gun, which I've never really considered before but it's a good one. Interestingly the couples were a few variations on Top Gun theme, so it wasn't just the main characters appearing.

I had an excellent time as Spiderman, although I did get caught in the heavy rain at about 2am having a duel with party poppers and got completely soaked. I changed into 'normal' clothes rather than spend the rest of the evening squelching about damply.

Everyone else at the party had done the same thing already so I just got stuck into the serious business of dancing with someone dressed as the lady from The Birds and drinking far too many cocktails.

Some time rather early, I think at about 4am I found myself in a tent and fell asleep to the soft lullaby of pounding dance music. I can sleep almost anywhere, and was exhausted anyway so it didn't bother me but I can imagine that people who aren't so trained in napping might have issues.

I woke up again at about 11am to find the party still going strong (the music had of course not stopped) and got to witness some early morning croquet while people sipped bitter and listened to grinding hardcore music. The music made the whole scene seem a bit wrong really.

After a few cups of tea it was time to set off but the chap who had driven us up managed to 'clong' his car on a rock and it was bit broken and leaking oil everywhere. So we had to hang around while we waited for the rescue services to appear and give us a lift home, by this point everyone was so tired that conversation was a struggle and when I finally made it home I was exhausted and went straight to bed.

It was quite an adventure and I really enjoyed it but it was definitely time for an early night.

Oh it's a sailors life for me!

I've always wanted to go Tall Ship racing, I think because I was born about 200 years too late to really get stuck into a bit of firing cannons at French people and jumping about with swords. It's almost entirely wasted on the modern world that I'm decidedly dangerous with a sabre, can ride horses like I was born in the saddle and can wear a floppy hat with panache.

So it was great delight that I'm managed to persuade an editor to let me go Tall Ship racing for a feature. While the sailing would be limited to going from point A to point B with very little chance of boarding actions or capturing Spanish gallons it will definitely let me run up and down the rigging and possibly keep an eye out for any Dutch pirates that might be in the area.

Now I just have to organise the blasted thing, which for reasons that aren't really worth going into will require a full background check before they will let me get on the ship.

I bet a chap didn't have to put up with this when Nelson was in charge.

The duelist

There are somethings I've always aspired to since I was terribly small. Sadly I think there is very little chance of me becoming a Privateer in the Caribbean, or invading France on horseback.

One of the other ridiculous things I wanted to be was a duelist. You know a chap in a smashing coat who defends someones honour for cash.

Yesterday that dream came true. I joked about it at work when a liable case came up and now it's going to be part of the settlement that the person who made the claim declined the offer of a duel to get his satisfaction.

It's not an entirely idle threat either. I've been doing various forms of martial arts for years, on a casual basis. I lived in Scotland for a while which got me into fights on an almost weekly basis because I was English and talked to girls and that is not acceptable in some parts of Scotland. I've even been in proper street fights, with knives and I picked up a few scars and yet I'm still alive so perhaps that should be a warning to people thinking of kicking off with a fop.

Dueling now my officially part of my job at this company. While I'll still write nonsense if anyone asks what I do, I'm the duelist.

This has been a fairly ridiculous week.